Why Your Team Sucks 2013: Houston Texans

Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. Your team: Houston Texans Your 2012 record: 12-4. Only four of those victories came against teams with winning records. When you win the AFC South, you amass the majority of your wins in the bowels of CBS's Sunday afternoon schedule, with Bill Macatee on play-by-play and some sort of talking walrus doing the color commentary. Whenever the Texans were let out of that broadcasting spiderhole to play a REAL team (Packers, Patriots) last season, they were obliterated. Your coach: Gary Kubiak, who always makes sure to tip his hairdresser a little something …

Urban Meyer Was Aware Of Ohio State Coach's 2009 Domestic Violence Arrest

Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer told reporters that he was aware of former receiver coach Zach Smith’s 2009 domestic violence arrest while Smith was working for Meyer as a grad assistant at Florida. Smith was fired by the Buckeyes on Monday, three days after his ex-wife filed a protective order against him for trespassing on her property in May. Speaking at his Big Ten media day press conference on Tuesday, Meyer said firing Smith was done “in the best interest of our team.” Meyer continued that while he was not aware of Smith’s most recent actions, he was notified when Smith was arrested for the felony charge of aggravated battery back in 2009. “Zach was an intern, a very young couple. As I do any time, that I imagine most coaches or people in leadership positions, yo…

ESPN and NFL Network Could Have Combined Draft Telecast With Possible Fundraising Element

data-mm-id=”_ib5tqzou3″>This year's NFL Draft will be unlike previous editions for obvious reasons. Teams will not have their traditional war rooms and will have to adapt via video conference. The novel challenges extend to the broadcast space as well, meaning rivals may have to join forces for the greater common distraction. To that end, ESPN and NFL Network may do a combined telecast instead of operating in separate silos, NBC Sports' Peter King reports this morning. This would allow Rich Eisen, Daniel Jeremiah, and others to work out of the Bristol studios as the NFL's facilities in California and New Jersey are unlikely to be open for business under state decrees. King also reveals: “The league is closing in on plans to weave a fundraising element into all three days…

Matt Haarms: Four Potential Landing Spots For Purdue Transfer

data-mm-id=”_8r2f8ern6″>Matt Haarms shocked college basketball by entering the transfer portal on Monday. While he had been supplanted in Purdue's starting lineup by Trevion Williams, the center was still a huge part of the team. The massive Haarms (7-foot-3, 250 pounds) has immediately become the best big man on the transfer market. A defensive specialist, he averaged 8.6 points, 4.6 rebounds and 2.0 blocks in 20.5 minutes per game during the 2019-20 season. When he was on the floor, Purdue's opponents shot 49.1 percent at the rim, versus 58.1 percent when he was off the floor. He was one of the better rim protectors in college basketball. Haarms will be a senior and is immediately eligible as a graduate transfer. He should have plenty of suitors. Here's a look at four …

Keenan Allen Forgot The No. 1 Rule of Saying You're No. 1

data-mm-id=”_mc54zz542″>Keenan Allen doesn't seem happy about being the No. 77-ranked player on the NFL Top 100 list. Apparently even more distressing to the Los Angeles Chargers wide receiver is his place amongst his peers. He's ahead of fellow standout wide receivers Allen Robinson, Cooper Kupp and D.K. Metcalf, but the list of wide receivers who have yet to be ranked (only 100-70 were posted yesterday) is long and distinguished.Taking to Twitter to voice his displeasure, Allen tagged Tyreek Hill, Mike Evans and (the wrong) Chris Godwin as examples of wide receivers who are not as good as him. He admits they are faster but says his ability to create separation is what separates him from the best. The only issue is he didn't even mention the best. Ok I’m tired of bite…

Wes Matthews Is a Perfect Fit With the Lakers

data-mm-id=”_g7y585x26″>The Los Angeles Lakers struck early in free agency, landing Wes Matthews on an entirely affordable one-year, $3.6 million deal. Matthews will likely step in to replace the hole Danny Green left in LA's lineup and, frankly, it's a perfect fit. Wes Matthews is signing a one-year, $3.6M deal with the LA Lakers, sources tell @TheAthleticNBA @Stadium. https://t.co/fYHthoXFjE— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) November 20, 2020Matthews is coming off a solid season with the Milwaukee Bucks during which he averaged 7.4 points, 2.5 rebounds and 1.4 assists in 24.4 minutes per game. He started 67 games as a complementary piece and, most importantly for the Lakers, he's a career 38.1 percent 3-point shooter. He's also a plus-player on the defensive end…

Eric Hosmer's Career Disintegrated in Stunning Fashion

data-mm-id=”_sy8rbjlav”>The Chicago Cubs designated Eric Hosmer for assignment on Friday, five months after the Boston Red Sox released him. That followed the San Diego Padres paying $44 million of his salary in a trade to Boston last year. Hosmer is a former All-Star, who was a revered clubhouse leader on a World Series champion and massively respected around Major League Baseball. In a few short years he's become unplayable. It's been a stunning fall. Hosmer was never a darling of the analytics crowd as a hitter, and rightfully so. He was a heavy groundball guy from the left side and in the world of the shift, that type of approach was poison to stats. His final year with the Kansas City Royals, in 2017, was the best of his career. He hit a career-high 25 home runs and drov…